13 ways to leave a relationship behind for goodWritten by:Team Toni
We've all had an ex that we've hadcan not getOut of our heads. A harmful friendship that we hold on to even though it wears us out. Or even oneFamily member who is toxic. Why can't we learnhow to let go of someone, even when we know they're not good for us?
Holding on is a natural human instinct — and it's also a critical way to keep us from achieving our goals. Because ultimately notlet go of someone you love can harmOf:IIt prevents you from realizing your true potential.
Why is letting go so difficult?
Why do we have so many problems in learninghow to let go of someonewe love? We like to hold on to things, situations and most importantly people becausethey fulfillour need for certainty. Certainty is part of itSix human needsthat drive every decision we make.Let goAndget out of a relationshipoften associated with great uncertainty. Even if your relationshiphathas graduated, or one or both of youare unhappy, ThereIsthere is still some certaintythat can make it hard to knowwhen to end a relationship.
We may tooUse the past to justify oursdecisions. Remember when you were rejected by multiple potential buddies in high school or college? These cases could make you hold on to a partner — even one who isn't good for you — because you're afraid of not finding someone else. These memories justify everything for you. When you cannot let go, those memories become a part of youStoryand work against you
Sometimes we really don't want to let go of someone - but they want to let go of us.letting go of someone you loveis even harder if your feelings for her haven't changed. Remember that relationships are a place you go to give, not to get. And sometimes the best thing you can give your partner is their freedom. Hear below how Tony works with Dano to help him hugthe power of letting go.
sign youhave to let go of someone
Learnhow to let go of someone you love– someone you have deeply connected with and shared your life with – is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. That's why so many people break up, but keep in touch without understanding when to end a relationshipWhen these signs are known, it is timeWondering if you need to exit it entirely:
- You always wonder what could have been
- You think about the person constantly or at times when you'd rather not
- They spend a lot of time reliving memories or looking them up on social media
- You often mention her when you talk to friends
- When you're feeling down, they're the first person you should call
- They make changes to your life or appearance to get them back
- You feel scared or even angry when you see the person
- They blame them or want revenge for perceived offenses
letting go of someone you loveis not easy, but holdstopsyou back from the possibility of oneextraordinary relationship. In order to focus your energy on living positively and proactively, you must learn how to keep going.When you do this, you will find that letting go can have many benefits.
what happens when you let go
Breaking up with a partner or refusing to talk to a family member is not the same as letting go. You may still feel love, resentment, and hostility that affect your choices—you may feel all three. That means you let them call the shots instead of controlling your own life. And that never leads to thathappiness and fulfillment.
Learnhow to let go of someone you loveOnly then can you be the architect of your own life. It's also one of the most challenging things you'll ever have to do. If youovercome this fear, you will feel free. You will feel relieved. You will know you have theminner strengthto conquer anything. And you can start forging your own path to fulfillment.
how to let go of someone
Knowing you need to let go and actually letting go are two very different things. These tips will help youdiscoverHowkeep going once and for all.
1. Recognize when it's time
Learn when the time comestime to let gois often the most difficult part of this process. But in many cases it is necessary to let go in order to let goUnlock the life you deserve. Although every relationship is different, when the relationship is causing them more pain than pleasure, or when trust has eroded to the point they are at, most feel it is time to end thingsromance cannot be reignited. farewell to a relationshipbecomes easier when you are sure that the time has come and that your future happiness depends on a fresh start.
2. Identifylimiting beliefs
AgainThoughts like "I could never be alone" or "I will never find someone to love me again"constantgo through your head? Understandthe thisare not facts - they arelimiting beliefs, and while beliefs have the power to create your world,Ofhave the power to transform them.Replace them with empowering beliefs like "I'm open to whatever the universe has in store for me" and "I love myself and deserve the best."You may feel silly at first but if you use thesepositive incantationsAs part of your daily routine, you will see results.
3. Change your story
Your story is what you tell yourself to justify your decisionsand based on your limiting beliefs. For example, you tell yourself that you cannot have a successful relationship because you grew up. Your parents fought all the time in front of you and finally got divorced. You cannot let go of the belief that all relationships are doomed to fail and therefore you cannot sustain any relationshipHealthy Romantic Relationship. You use this past experience to justify your current state of life –Yes you canchange your storyso that your past empowers you instead of holding you back. Your past is not your future unless you live there.
4. Stop the blame game
letting go of someone you lovedoesn't mean you have to negate the truth, but don't let it affect youyour way. It is human nature to point the finger at someone else or at a past incident rather than at ourselves. Because of this, at the end of a relationship or someone else, you blame your significant other for something terrible that happened to you. Yet even if the facts are horrific or heartbreaking, youmustlet the past rest.Instead, use your experiences as a tool to push you to learn and grow so you can build a healthy relationshipwith someone else.
5. Embrace the "F" word
Going your separate ways doesn't have to be an experience filled with anger or judgment. When you recognize that the person is preventing you from growing or pursuing your dreams, you can forgive them andAlsoforgive yourselffor the pain the breakup may cause and wish them all the best in the future. Remind yourself that you must learn to make room for a new, healthy relationshiphow to let goof the old.practice forgivenessis a chance to grow and live in the mystery of what's next.
6. Control your emotions
When a relationship ends, it's common to feel an incredible amount of anger and resentment — especially if you weren't the one who decided to end it. Maybe you felt righteous at first, like anger was helping you move forward. However, after some time you realize that it is unhealthy for you and you are not surehow to let go of someoneyou love and live on.
Negative feelings take a toll on your emotional and physical health—anger has even been linked to heart disease—and affect your future relationships. Recognizing this behavior as unhealthy is the first step in the process of letting go. If you wantan answer regardinghow it goes on, you are already on the right track. The good news is that in the process of learninghow to let go, you can also learn how to do itControl your emotions.
7. Practice empathy
Learnhow it goes onfrom a relationship that once brought you joy can be very difficult. When letting someone go, it helps to think of both sides of the story. Look at the situationher point of view. Look at this person from the same placecompassion and empathythat you did when you were happy together. Yes, your ex may have hurt you, but they probably didn't do it out of spite. They felt that their needs were not being met in your relationship and they decided to take action to improve their own emotional state.
8. Adopt an attitude of gratitude
As Tony says, “When you are grateful, fear goes away and abundance appears.” That's whypractice gratitudeis the antidote to the sadness and anxiety you feel while studyinghow to let go of someone.Let go of your expectationsand focus on gratitude for what you once shared.This little shift in your perspective will help you see thatlife happens for you, notToYou. If you are able to find the lesson in each experience and be grateful for it, you willReduce the anger you feel towards the other person andinstead of thisAppreciate what you gained from the relationship.
9. Speakto someone you trust
Keeping your feelings inside only holds you tight and eventually canturn into fearordevelop into depression. Talk to a supportive friend, family member, or therapist about how you're feeling and let them be there for you in times of need.Talking to someone you trust can also help you identify an unhealthy relationship and keep you from going back to that person any further.Once you commit to learninghow to let go of someone, You canselfDiscover other moments and situations that you can afford to move on from.
10. Stayfrom social media
Learnhow to let go of someoneYour love will be much more difficult if you are constantly reminded of them. Although social media is a way to keep in touch with friends and family, it's the opposite of what you need when you're going through a breakup.Stay away from social mediawhile healing not only stops you from seeing pictures or posts of your ex, but also stops you from seeing other seemingly happy couples, which can make you feel worse about your situation.
11. TakeYou take care
The process of letting go and leaving a relationship can be stressful and lonely. This is not the time to beat yourself up or ignore your needs. If youpractice self-careand taking that time to fall in love with yourself, you will heal more fully and perhaps be healthier than you were before the relationship began. Indulge in massages or other relaxing activities, engage in activities that make you happy, and focus on finding fulfillment without being part of a couple.
Staying in bed all day avoiding friends and loved ones makes it that much harder to let go and move on. Start your day with an empowering morning ritual that includes activities such asprimer, meditation, yoga or journaling, then get up and join us. Join groups, volunteer for a new project at work, or meet up with a friend for lunch or a drink. Keeping busy will help take your mind off the breakup and your wounds will begin to heal.
13. Take time to heal
Let gofrom someone you loveis a process. You won't learn overnight, especially when you've spent your life clinging to things you love—even when deep down you knew they weren't for you. Focusing on moving forward and inventing a new story for yourself will help you cope with the inevitable pain that comes after a breakup. It will also help you eliminate guilt of developingempowering beliefs to live byand move on with an open heart.
Even if you know ithow to let go of someoneLoving you and following all the steps, don't expect to feel better right away. Grieving is normal and you need to take the time to feel your emotions. Treat yourself with compassion and don't allow anyone to blame you for "just getting over it". While you don't want to isolate yourself, take a little extra time from social events when you feel you need to, and never agree to a date or hookup until you feel like you're really ready – those who don't give each other too much time often end up in rebound relationships that are harmful or prolong the healing process even more.
Learn to let go and move on
Remember that refusing to let go won't bring someone you care about back. Holding on only harms your emotional and physical state and keeps you from enjoying life to the fullest. Embrace life in the moment and understand thatUncertainty can be beautifulif you look at it from the right perspective.
The key tolet gosomeone you lovefaces what happened, accepts that it cannot be changed, and moves on. Once you are able to move on and appreciate the growth that has come from the relationship, better opportunities will present themselves. You will have learned successfullyhow to let go of someoneYou love and can start writing your new story.
Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares the stories and core principles of Tony Robbins to help others live extraordinary lives.